object lesson idea: beanboozled!

tonite for my 8th grade girls small group, our bible study was about the words that come out of our mouths. it started with one of the girls wanting to know why cussing was bad, but it was a great opportunity to talk about more than just word choice, but also about the heart and attitudes behind the words. we looked at james 3, phillipians 4:8, and matthew 12:35.

i’ve seen a number of lessons on james 3 where you use a cow tongue, usually available at the butcher counter in the grocery store, for the illustration. i checked a couple stores close to me and was told it is a ’special order’ item. i kept mulling over what else i could do for an illustration. i started thinking about taste–maybe contrasting sweet and sour. and then in a flash of inspiration about an hour before our group met, i remembered that jelly belly had started making gross jelly bean flavors like booger & barf. i headed out to find icky jelly belly’s to mix with good ones and the lovely people at jelly belly had already created the exact mix i needed: beanboozled!

this little treat has 20 flavors of jelly belly’s in 10 colors. there’s a yummy and a yucky flavor in each color. for example, the brown one is either chocolate pudding or canned dog food. i had each of the girls choose 2 of the same color and we did a little taste test. What was fantastic (and completely unexpected) was that the yuck flavors stayed in your mouth longer and overpowered the yummy ones. It made the perfect tie-in to how oftentimes the hurtful words we hear stay with us longer and drown out the positive ones.

let me know if you use this idea or come up with other ways to use beanboozled as an object lesson.

the crisis in youth ministry: part 1

for awhile now some of the best thinkers in youth ministry have been saying youth ministry is in crisis. what we in youth ministry have been doing is not working as is evidenced by the number of kids who graduate from high school and youth group, leaving their faith behind as they move on to college and careers.

i’ve been pondering all of this for a while wondering what i can do as a volunteer and a small group leader. how can i make a difference for the girls i see every week? i’ve come up with 5 things that i’ll share in this space over the next few days. it’ll be a 4 part series as two of the items link together. and i’m going to write from my perspective as a volunteer small group leader. i do think that each of these items translate up to a youth group as a whole.

to lead off, we must as youth workers do better at supporting, encouraging, and engaging parents. we need to make an effort to meet & get to know the parents of the kids in our small groups.

as a volunteer, it is easy to skip engaging parents and leave that up to the paid staff person. but over the years i’ve learned that getting to know the parents and family situations of the girls in my group makes a difference in understanding the girls and their needs. i also realize that ideally parents are meant to be the primary disciplers of their kids. and if we get to know the parents, we can encourage and support them in that role. i’m fortunate to serve at church that believes part of youth ministry involves engaging and equipping parents. each year our youth ministry hosts a training seminar for parents, something i think all youth ministries should be doing.

here are a few ideas to connect with and serve parents:

• greet parents when they drop off and/or pick up their child for small group.
• email or send home a letter introducing yourself (and your co-leaders) to the parents of kids in your group.
• gather parent emails and email them the schedule for your group.
• create a blog or newsletter with info for parents (great resource is the center for parent/youth understanding)
• host a small group family night (yes your students will roll their eyes, but they’ll get over it)
• host a parent seminar (homeword ministries and center for parent/youth understanding both offer package deals to make it easy to host a parenting event)

reaching out to parents is key to helping students build a lifelong faith. as youth workers, we only have students for a few hours a week. anything we can do to help parents can only benefit the kids we serve.

a youthworker’s camp survival kit

last night i arrived home from a fantastic weekend at winter camp, also known as a weekend retreat. the venue is a camp up in the san bernadino mountains and it’s beautiful there. i’ve been to this camp several times before but it had been a while since i’d done the ‘camp’ thing. the last few student retreat/events i’ve been to, we’ve stayed in hotels. and being a little out of practice at the traditional camp going, i forgot to pack my survival kit.

once upon a time, i was at traditional camp venues an average of 6 times a year. it was during this season i came up with my ’survival kit’. and while i managed just fine without the kit, it would have come in handy and made things just a little nicer. i thought i’d share my list with you.

the basics:

• bath mat (it’s nice that most camp cabins now have bathrooms, but they never have bath mats. it’s just a little nicer and safer. i like the ones from target that are like the ones you find at hotels.)
• extra hooks (either the over the door or command hooks. having a few extra places to hang towels, wet clothes is always handy.)
• night light (sure most middle school kids have outgrown them, but they are handy to help kids find the bathroom in a strange place in the middle of the night.)
• hand soap & paper towels (usually not provided but quite useful)
• power strip (because girls typically bring a plethora of blow dryers & curling irons)
• alarm clock (most kids use their cell phones as watches so if they’re leaving them off, then they’re constantly asking you the time. plus giving them a community alarm clock puts the responsibility of getting up & getting ready on time back on them.)
• trash bags (for packing up sleeping bags, bedding, dirty clothes.)
• sharpie & duct tape (a youth worker should never, ever be without these two items)

“mom” items:

• toothpaste
• band-aids
• q-tips
• pads/tampons
• sunscreen
• gallon ziplocs

“rock-star” counselor bonus items:

• colored markers & blank notecards (make a birthday card on the fly, do a creative journaling project, write encouragement notes for campers)
• treats (leave mints on their pillows or just have a snack to bust out for late night munchies or during cabin discussions)
• pocket games (cards, scrabble slam [my new personal favorite], would you rather, have you ever… it’s just handy to have a plan for the “i’m bored” or to help kids get to know each other.)
• solo cups (for the “i need a drink” moment or just for them to hold their toothbrush/paste by the sink)
• glow-in-the-dark ball (i use this as the talking ball after lights out-whoever has it can share the highlight of their day and then pass it to the next person. it helps settle the girls down without me having to say “shh, go to sleep” a thousand times.)

anything you’d add? i’d love to hear your thoughts!

confessions of a scaredy-cat

a theme started emerging in december: don’t be afraid. i simply chalked it up to being a theme in the christmas story. but then i noticed it popping up in other places in my life. i realized a number of the books and movies i’d enjoyed the most this year had a theme about people taking risks, starting new, overcoming fears.

for christmas, a friend gave me julia child’s auto-biography ‘my life in france’. and once again the theme popped up. this time phrased as ‘be fearless’. of course, julia is specifically speaking to cooking and says, ‘learn how to cook–try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless, and above all have fun!’

this feels a little like a mash-up of some verses i’d like to try to embrace this year. biblically, we’re told ‘be not afraid’ quite a lot. or at least the bible characters were being told that, but i think it’s meant for us too. we’re also told to live abundantly. and i think they go hand-in-hand. it seems a little difficult to have or enjoy life abundantly if you’re scared.

i’m a scaredy-cat. scared of being hurt, hurting someone else or disappointing them. of not doing enough for others, of not doing enough for myself, of failing. and a lot of my fears have been quite practical lately: finding a job, where i’ll live when i do, finances. and my fears sometimes leave me a bit paralyzed. i spend too much time thinking, analyzing, trying to project all possible outcomes. or i’m afraid i won’t be able to do something perfectly or that i’ll fail and i miss the window of opportunity.

mike yaconelli, who i had the privilege of working with and for, is remembered as saying “jump first, fear later.” so with mike, julia and the bible behind me, my goal is to be less afraid. or at least not let my fears hold me back. i’m not really sure how this is going to work, but hopefully this post is a small step in the right direction.

Cute Little Sheep

i’m so blessed to be auntie to 11 kids. two of them live here in san diego. these two i’ve affectionately nicknamed ladybug, who’s 2 and 1/2, and spike, who’s 11 months. they were in their church christmas pageant this morning and i videoed them being the cutest little sheep ever. and no, i’m not biased .

Movie Girl

i like movies, but i’m picky about what i see. i tend to stick to the stereo-typical chick flicks–romantic comedies and period films in particular. i never go see anything horror, and action-adventure or sci-fi films are unlikely to interest me (notable exception this year was the star trek movie. i actually really liked it.). i typically see about 8 movies a year, but this has been a banner year.

but this has been a banner year for movies and me. i’ve already seen 14 films and the holiday movie season has 7 movies i’m excited about seeing. and i can’t think of time that i’ve been excited about that many movies in a year, much less a few weeks! here’s the list that has captured my attention:

• did you hear about the morgan’s? (love hugh grant, love sarah jessica parker)
• invictus (fascinated by nelson mandela)
• the princess & the frog (promised a couple of my goddaughters to take them plus i’m pretty stoked about it!)
• a single man (colin firth, enough said.)
• the blind side (love sandra bullock, amazing true story)
• it’s complicated (love steve martin!)
• nine (looks amazing and i’m a fan of musicals. i think there should be more bursting into song in real life.)

actually, it’s been quite a year of movies for me. so far this year i’ve seen:

• last chance harvey (completely delightful-i highly recommend it-and not just because a lot of it was filmed on location in london)
• doubt (depressing, hated the ending)
• the reader (depressing)
• star trek (so much better than i would have thought)
• julie & julia (love it. want it on dvd. want the cookbook and the le creuset stockpot)
• harry potter & the half-blood prince
• up (so, so good. it’s a must see for anyone)
• the proposal (very cute)
• he’s just not that into you (total disappointment)
• ghosts of girlfriends past (cute, but it could have waited for dvd)
• hotel for dogs (cute…i took my niece and her cousin)
• all about steve (i need to write a post on this sometime)
• old dogs
• the boat that rocked (saw it in london; released here as pirate radio)

and since i’m listing these, i may as well mention the ones that i missed in theatres, but am catching on dvd:

• the accidental husband
• the ugly truth
• confessions of a shopaholic
• the soloist
• bride wars
• the invention of lying
• the young victoria
• amelia
• duplicity
• new in town

anything you’ve seen this year you’d add?

Yearbooks and Youth Ministry

A few weeks after my small group of middle school girls began meeting at my house, the girls discovered my old high school yearbooks and photo albums. They had a good laugh at the 80’s fashions, found pics of me & asked a few questions. I thought that would be the end of it. It so wasn’t. Every week for the rest of the 2 years we met, the first 15 minutes, the girls would pull out the yearbooks and albums and giggle, read, giggle some more, and surprisingly often ask a question that would become a deeper conversation.

That group of girls moved to high school a year and a half ago, but this past Sunday we had a reunion. We met at my house for lunch and once again the girls headed straight for my yearbooks. And once again, they opened up a couple of conversations.

It seems that looking through my old yearbooks has given my girls a look into my life as a teen that allows them to see that well, I really was once a teen. And just like them, I had homework, friends, teachers. They get a glimpse into my friendships and the boys I liked through the notes written in the books. And it’s given them permission to talk more freely about their lives, usually by starting with a question about my life as a teen.

A few tips before breaking out your yearbooks…

• Look through them and do a little reminiscing on your own.
• Check them to make sure your friends didn’t write something too inappropriate.
• Have an idea of where to find you and the activities you were in.
• Most importantly, just leave the yearbooks where they can be found and let the students lead the way in the conversation. Don’t force it or I’m pretty sure you’ll get the eye roll!

I’d love to hear how it goes if you decide to share your yearbooks!

new blog home

welcome to my new blog home. this will replace the old blog i had at so…and other thoughts. if you’ve been following my thoughts over there, i hope you’ll update your feed.

here’s just a teaser of some posts to come soon:

• whole life discipleship: integrating worship, evangelism & justice
• small group leader survival kit
• black friday shopping tips
• confessions of a sentimental packrat
• life lessons from scarlett o’hara

and about the pic in the header. it’s a photo i took of minehead, somerset, uk, whilst i was there last april for spring harvest. i’ll likely update the header pic occasionally with photos i love.

the UK by car

this trip to the UK i have yet to be in london. when i arrived, i went straight out to the soul survivor events and spent 10 days there. then i headed to eastbourne to stay with friends. over the weekend, we went to greenbelt & to grapevine, two other festivals. we also stopped off at my friend’s mom’s in cambridge before heading back to eastbourne. it was quite the road trip. here’s a little map to give you an idea:

View Larger Map

A: london heathrow, where i started
B: the royal bath & west showground, home to soul survivor, weeks b & c and momentum
C/G: eastbourne, where my friends live, and home to christian music & publishing
D: cheltenham race course, home to greenbelt
E: lincoln, home to grapevine
F: cambridge, where my friend’s mom lives

it was fun to get to see so much territory by car & i love that it’s really green here. san diego is fantastic, but there’s not much green. the best part was the people of course. lots of time to chat with a friend, and opportunities to meet new people plus see friends from the states.

UK Update

i am having a fabulous time hanging out with my friends at soul survivor. soul survivor is held on the UK version of a fairgrounds and the exhibit hall is in a cattle barn. most delegates camp but i’m in a b & b, which is lovely and has fantastic breakfasts. my typical day has been: wake up, have a lovely breakfast (when i haven’t hit the snooze & opted for toast), head over to the event site, hang out with friends, go to part of the morning session, get some lunch, help on the spring harvest exhibit til tea time. have tea, go to part of the evening service, back to the spring harvest exhibit, then back to the b & b for bed. so, this morning i’m missing the morning service to catch up a bit on email & blogging.

i realize this isn’t loads of details, but here are a few random thoughts on my UK visit so far, in no particular order, some of which i’ll unpack later & some are just here. if for some reason you, dear reader, have a wish for me to unpack a specific one, feel free to comment and i’ll do my best.

• i think choosing a marriage partner might be as simple as saying, ‘you are someone i can love, respect & who i have fun hanging out with and whose faults & foilbiles i can live with on most days without it driving me nuts.’
• hope is often hard, but worth it.
• the church at large is most likely failing to recognize in kids ages 8-11 the ability to begin understanding God at deeper levels. which in turn likely means we’re not giving our young teens and teens enough respect and challenge in discipling them.
• and the previous thought leads to the thought that if in youth ministry (and this is a sweeping statement i realize), we were better at discipling our teens in a way that allowed them to feed themselves spiritually, we might be spending less time scratching our heads at how to keep 18-25 year olds in the church.
• how possible is it in current youth ministry models to use the training model of ‘i do, you watch; we do it together; you do, i watch (& coach); you do for someone else’?
• in the UK, there is an event volunteer whose sole job is to sit amongst a huge stack of fire extinguishers with a radio, a phone & a megaphone, just in case a fire should break out. it’s a UK safety requirement.
• it is possible to run a large scale event without a minute-by-minute for the plenary session, but it seems to require a production team with quick reflexes.
• people from the US speak American and people from the UK speak English and there is a difference.