i’ve been blogging–albeit sporadically–for 6 years. and with just over 200 posts, i average about 3 posts a month. truthfully though, i blog in spurts. i go for a season blogging consistently and then it goes dormant for awhile. i was recently told that i should re-title my blog “the blog of good intentions”. i prefer to think of myself as being a ‘consistently inconsistent’ blogger.

as i mark this moment, let me leave you with a promise to remain consistently inconsistent… and with links back to a few of my favorite early posts. tonite here are my top 5 fave youth ministry posts. hope you enjoy them.

are we missing the point?

but what are we teaching our boys?

thoughts from a volunteer small group leader

a youthworker’s camp survival kit

object lesson: beanboozled

i’ve been spending quite a lot of time in prayer for each of these friends–and for their families. especially the families–it’s horrible and awful to watch someone you love in any of those situations.

all of these friends live cross-country from me so i’m not able to offer child care, meal prep, or even a physical hug–the things one often does for a friend in crisis. i am only able to offer a text, call or email and my prayers.

and intellectually i know that prayer is the most important thing i can offer these friends. i can enter the throne room and intercede with the king for these friends. and despite that knowledge, i still feel helpless–as though my prayers are simply not enough.

i know other people experience this feeling as well. so the question i’m pondering about prayer tonight, why is it that the most important thing we can tangibly do for a friend-pray-can feel like we aren’t doing enough?

what do you think? ever dealt with this sensation?

there are some signs that i really live here:

• i’m not relying on my gps-i’ve found my way around and even a couple short cuts and back ways.
• i have a couple local restaurants i really like (peter’s sushi & thai, the puffy muffin, and the newest fave, satco)
• i really like my co-workers and our students at the center for youth ministry training
• i like my condo & my neighborhood
• i’ve found a jazzercise class i like

but there are 3 really important ways which make this not feel real yet:

• i haven’t found a church home
• i’m only just starting to meet people
• i’m still not fully settled into my condo. it still needs a couple bookcases, a couch (having a hard time finding one i love), and to get through the last of the boxes. plus there are a few shelves to hang and some painting to trim & touch up.
• i’m still homesick for san diego

back in 2000 when i made the move from tulsa to san diego, a wise co-worker told me to give myself a year to get over being homesick and a second year to fall in love with the place. it was true for that move and i’m reminding myself of this sage advice in the process of this move.

have you moved cross-country? what were the things or events that made the new locale feel like home?

here are a few reasons why:

1. fyllen laundry basket, $7.99

this collapsible basket is highly versatile. use it as:

• a goal for games
• temporary storage
• donation basket (food drive, clothing drive)
• camp lost & found
• tote for soggy clothes/supplies

2. picture frames: starting at .99

there is a huge variety of picture frames for great prices. my favorites are these ‘clips’ in the picture. plain glass with a backing that clips the photo in place. with sharpies you can totally personalize these frames making them perfect for leader gifts or small group crafts.

plus they have a wide variety of collage frames and cool photo display supplies to use in the youth room.

3. fixa tool kit, $7.99

all the basic tools for a price you don’t have to worry if one gets misplaced or damaged. for instance, the hammer falls out of a canoe and disappears in the river. (yes, that happened on a youth trip once. and i still have no clue why that jh boy had a hammer in the canoe.)

4.  koppla 6 outlet power strip: $5.99

koppla power strip

oh, and there are 2 strips in the pack for $5.99!  i also find it’s often handy to keep one of these in my suitcase it can be hard to find enough convenient plugs in a hotel to charge all my gadgets. and on camps and retreats, as a girls leader, i’m pretty sure having these in my camp survival kit has prevented outlet overload on more than one occasion.

5. (saving the best for last) frakta ikea signature tote: .59

frakta ikea signature tote

this 19 gallon tote bag is made of polypropylene and is seriously durable. it’s perfect to pack all those odd-shaped or bulky retreat supplies like dodgeballs or 48 roll packs of toilet paper.  really great for missions trip supplies as they’ll hold tools and other heavy items plus they’re waterproof and can be washed down with soap and water.

you can also get creative with these for games–put a jr higher in one and let them go sliding down a hill, use them for relays, etc.

a slightly sad note…i realized as i was putting links into this post none of these items are available online. here’s a link to their store finder so you can find out how far you are from one…and if it’s very far, you can also get a list of all their store locations so you can take along an empty suitcase next time you’ll be near one.

and because it was a youth ministry event, there was the requisite event t-shirt. tonite, as i was sorting thru old t-shirts for a t-shirt quilt, i found the one from ’99. and it has one of my favorite top 10 lists ever for a youth ministry event:

10. don’t eat the paint

9.  paint freckles leave you with a really groovy tan

8.  clean sponsors are happy sponsors

7.  throwing buckets full ‘o’ paint at the house will not speed things up

6.  even michaelangelo used a drop cloth

5.  keep the karate kid jokes to a minimum (“paint da fence”)

4.  don’t use the time to practice auto paint and body on the church vans

3.  paint no dogs

2.  paint the correct house

1.  don’t eat the paint

youth ministry needs more:

• parent involvement: we need parents to be more involved in our ministries and oftentimes, in their kids’ lives. to make that happen, we need to reach out to them first.
• celebration: we’re meant to be people of joy and in our fast-paced stressful lives we often forget to notice and find joy in the midst of our journeys.
• realistic expectations of our students: having unrealistic expectations can leave us asking either too much or oftentimes too little of our students. it’s important to help our kids develop an accurate vision of how God sees them and then to help them live into it.
• workers: quite simply, we need more adults involved in students’ lives. we need ‘big church’ to be more integrated with youth ministry so let’s get creative in making those connections.

so now you know where i’m headed for the next few posts. if you have ideas or feedback, be sure to post a comment. i’d love to start a dialogue around any or all of these.

Two things struck me last night as the girls talked. First, students today are dealing with much bigger issues much younger. And issues that have been around for ages, like bullying, have taken on a broader scope and a far crueler edge. (This may become a post of its own.) Second, how important it is that there be enough adults who are willing to step in and be involved in the lives of our kids. As youth workers, we need to find creative ways to continually encourage the our churches to be involved in the lives of the teens. And not just when there is crisis, but also when there is reason to celebrate. More on that later…

if you aren’t familiar with vicky and her music, let me introduce you. vicky hails from across the pond, england that is. she’s oxford educated in theology. i’ve had the chance to get to know her and besides being brilliant, talented (and english), what i appreciate most about her is her transparency. vicky has this graceful way of embodying a lifestyle that integrates worship, evangelism, and justice. she openly shares her hope in jesus with those she encounters. vicky cares deeply about justice especially human trafficking.  and her music reflects all of this.

on her ep, there is a song called deliverer. as i listened to it the first time, it struck something deep in me that brought tears. even as teary as i often am, i can’t remember a song having that effect on me. the song is a reminder of God’s faithfulness in transforming us. it’s stuck with me for a couple weeks now.

but you don’t have to take my word for it: get to know vicky over at her blog. and check out her EP today on itunes.

update: the full cd is now available on itunes. go ahead & treat yourself to the download today!

i’ve seen a number of lessons on james 3 where you use a cow tongue, usually available at the butcher counter in the grocery store, for the illustration. i checked a couple stores close to me and was told it is a ‘special order’ item. i kept mulling over what else i could do for an illustration. i started thinking about taste–maybe contrasting sweet and sour. and then in a flash of inspiration about an hour before our group met, i remembered that jelly belly had started making gross jelly bean flavors like booger & barf. i headed out to find icky jelly belly’s to mix with good ones and the lovely people at jelly belly had already created the exact mix i needed: beanboozled!

this little treat has 20 flavors of jelly belly’s in 10 colors. there’s a yummy and a yucky flavor in each color. for example, the brown one is either chocolate pudding or canned dog food. i had each of the girls choose 2 of the same color and we did a little taste test. What was fantastic (and completely unexpected) was that the yuck flavors stayed in your mouth longer and overpowered the yummy ones. It made the perfect tie-in to how oftentimes the hurtful words we hear stay with us longer and drown out the positive ones.

let me know if you use this idea or come up with other ways to use beanboozled as an object lesson.

i’ve been pondering all of this for a while wondering what i can do as a volunteer and a small group leader. how can i make a difference for the girls i see every week? i’ve come up with 5 things that i’ll share in this space over the next few days. it’ll be a 4 part series as two of the items link together. and i’m going to write from my perspective as a volunteer small group leader. i do think that each of these items translate up to a youth group as a whole.

to lead off, we must as youth workers do better at supporting, encouraging, and engaging parents. we need to make an effort to meet & get to know the parents of the kids in our small groups.

as a volunteer, it is easy to skip engaging parents and leave that up to the paid staff person. but over the years i’ve learned that getting to know the parents and family situations of the girls in my group makes a difference in understanding the girls and their needs. i also realize that ideally parents are meant to be the primary disciplers of their kids. and if we get to know the parents, we can encourage and support them in that role. i’m fortunate to serve at church that believes part of youth ministry involves engaging and equipping parents. each year our youth ministry hosts a training seminar for parents, something i think all youth ministries should be doing.

here are a few ideas to connect with and serve parents:

• greet parents when they drop off and/or pick up their child for small group.
• email or send home a letter introducing yourself (and your co-leaders) to the parents of kids in your group.
• gather parent emails and email them the schedule for your group.
• create a blog or newsletter with info for parents (great resource is the center for parent/youth understanding)
• host a small group family night (yes your students will roll their eyes, but they’ll get over it)
• host a parent seminar (homeword ministries and center for parent/youth understanding both offer package deals to make it easy to host a parenting event)

reaching out to parents is key to helping students build a lifelong faith. as youth workers, we only have students for a few hours a week. anything we can do to help parents can only benefit the kids we serve.