a few dating lessons

every so often, i get my nerve up and dive into the online dating pool. obviously, it hasn’t been successful yet. but it has been a learning experience. here are a few things i’ve learned:

on photos:

  1. glamour shots/commercial headshots shouldn’t be used. anyone with sense knows those have been retouched. and in most cases, that look is not what you’ll be seeing when you meet up at the coffee shop.
  2. if it looks like there’s any possibility, the pic could show up in a mug shots book or be on a post office wall, don’t use it.
  3. please make sure your photo is from this decade. that also goes for your hairstyle.
  4. if you’re going to have an animal in the pic with you, it should be cute and alive. no dead fish, no dead deer, no insects of enormous size. and no pics of your dog (cute) with a dead bird in its mouth (yech!).
  5. if you’re going to post an action shot, please make sure it’s your good side. and your back side or camera angles looking up from about the knee area are pretty much never your good side.

on interests:

everyone is interested in a) traveling; b) making more money c) doing something to make a difference in the world; d) meeting in a coffee shop for a first meeting. my advice on actually being interesting: a) go someplace. take a trip and stop waiting for the perfect traveling companion. b) skip the money talk in your profile. it’s pretty safe assumption that no one wants to make less money and that everyone wants to make more. contentment with financial status would be something interesting. c) actually be doing something to make a difference in the world. what are you waiting for? volunteer now…don’t wait for your life partner to get started. d)come up with something, anything besides a coffee shop for a first meeting.

and finally, on emotional baggage:

i think there should be some way devised to weigh a person’s emotional baggage. seriously. as in if your past isn’t really in your past, you should exceed the weight limit for emotional baggage. for example, if you’ve only been out of rehab for a month, and it was your second time through, this is not old news. or if you’ve been divorced for more than a year, and you still refer to your ex without the ex qualifier, well, this is not old news. in both of these cases, your emotional baggage has exceeded the acceptable weight limit to embark on a new relationship journey.


1 Response to “a few dating lessons”

  1. 1 Matt 24 October, 2007 at 9:31 am

    No kidding on the emotional baggage!If you had been dating your childhood best friend for 2 and a half years… and he dumped you 2 months ago… and you still see him daily… and you’re crying telling me about this on our second date… you had no business being on eHarmony.Online Dating is tough!

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