the victory & defeat of shopping

today, i bit the bullet and went shopping. it’s the time of year when i typically find i need to add a few items to my closet. i was dreading this trip. i knew i’d gained some weight. i was not looking forward to seeing the tags in the back of the clothes.

i was fairly sure i’d need a 16… a size i haven’t needed for 3 & 1/2 years; a size i’d promised myself i’d never need again. i took the 16’s to the dressing room and they were clearly TOO BIG! i was thrilled and went in search of the 14’s. whew. i was relieved. my comfortable, i feel healthy, look healthy weight has me wearing 12’s and the occasional 10’s. Knowing I only need to drop a single pant size feels really doable! i was very excited and relieved.

but then came my shopping defeat. there’s an adorable pair of nine west shoes i’ve been ogling since i first saw them. they went on sale so i decided i could afford to splurge. i couldn’t wait to wear them. and then, they didn’t fit well. i tried several different sizes, all without success. i looked for another pair i also really liked, not as much but i liked. and they didn’t have anything close to my size. defeated by the shoe department, i took my smaller-than-i-thought-i’d-need jeans and went home, mostly smiling.

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